Dream (killed repeatedly, the world explodes)

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feelings of chernobyl / eastern bloc / dull greys

living in a small house w many families
pretty girls, all with other boyfriends
i'm 15 years old or so
i kiss the girls; it's dangerous because their boyfriends and families are very mean
i have sex with a girl in the bathroom tub, door open, very risky
go upstairs, try to have sex with this other girl,
her father and brother find us
go crazy / spray my eyes with harsh cleaning product, blinding me, i run off, run away down the street

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lots of events in which i am tortured
high speed chase down small-town road, being shot at

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i'm running away with other derelicts / we steal and are dirty
we are chased by townspeople in pickup trucks
in one scene i am beaten to death by people with pitchforks and torches
lots of screaming

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i am running away from a house of a family i have wronged
two hooligan brothers decide to run after me
i am barefoot
they can catch me, but instead set up a missile-launching device in a tree
it's a napalm bomb

i run across the street, asking them them for mercy
they follow, slowly giving up
a random bum gets hold of the missile-launcher/catapult and fires it
i am struck with an a-bomb and i completely disintegrate in slow motion
it's heavy and intense and i blow up in a huge fire of intense pain and heat

a lot like Terminator 2

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all of it starts to happen over again, with little changes of detail
i go to a 99 cent store looking for a lighter, barely escaping the blinding by the girl's families
etc

suddenly the camera pans out an i pop through a television and i'm watching these horrific events as an innocuous viewer with my friends
it's like i'm editing it on a computer
we're watching it, hearing the screams, and i'm adding a score, toying with the pace